K and I have a pretty good attitude most of the time about our weight, and we'll joke about it more than other people. By more we mean, if you make a fat joke around us and you weigh less than 210lbs we'll cut you. By cut we mean Shank and if you aren't familiar with the term shank it's because you haven't been to prison.
We would like to applaud all of you out there that work on being fit and healthy! It takes a lot of hard work and dedication for a lot of people to stay fit and look the way that you want to. We love getting advice from people on what works for them and how they stay motivated, because we need to learn how to do that and any tricks, tips and two cents that works for someone else, might just be that thing that tips the scale for us.
We also wanted to say that we understand that everyone has body image issues and we could all be a little more sensitive to that and more accepting of ourselves and those around us. But so help me the next person that we hear talking about how you just want to be skinny or thin or you need to lose weight because you weigh 7lbs more than what doctors say you should weigh at your height we are going to slap you silly! We don't mean to be insensitive, but when you start talking to fat girls about your body image issues saying that you understand what it feels like to not have the ideal body and that you know exactly what it's like to be fat and have to regain control because you had to lose 30lbs to fit back into your size 2 pants... understand you'll have a reality check waiting on your door step the next morning. Yes it is a double standard that we are allowed to talk about it and you aren't... but go complain to your skinny bitty friends who will encourage you to do something about it, because we'll probably call you fat and tell you to lay off the cheeseburgers. Then we'll write about you on our blog.
There is a difference in being skinny and healthy. There is a difference in being fat and needing to lose a few pounds. There is a difference between needing to lose weight and wanting to... The next time you go to the doctor and he tells you that you need to lose 100lbs to be healthy, no not just to be healthy, but to LIVE then you can make jokes. Because at that point joking is the only way to get a handle on it.
On a more positive note... Chunky dunking does have it's advantages, better splash radius, we don't need to wear life jackets and we come prepacked with insulation.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Grade A Meat?
A: I can't remember the last time I had meat at Taco Bell.
K: Me either, apparently it's not meat.
Please review the following article to view the particulars.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41242132/ns/business-consumer_news/?gt1=43001
K and I are writing a song, This is Why We're Fat, and now The TB gets a special shout out.
We have a confession to make, admitting your problems is the first step to over coming them right?
The other day we snuck fast food breakfast into my office at work to eat it, because we were to afraid of what people would think of us. We brought it up the stairs, hid in the mail room, snuck through the inventory room and into my office where we shut the door and made sure all the evidence was destroyed before we would open the door.
That is where we got our inspiration for our song.
We're fat cause we eat, we're fat cause we lazy.
We're fat cause we sneak food in through the break room.
We're fat and we know it, we're fat yes we show it.
Yes we know, yes we know, yes we know we're fat.
We fat, but we fly, you might be cause you read this
Or maybe your a skinny bitty and like the entertainment.
We're fat and forgetful, We had to run to Kohl's
So you could get some jeans, but not the ones with holes.
We're fat cause we lie, to ourselves all the time
We say that it's OK, if we eat another treat.
We're fat cause we go to the mall on a dime.
We're fat cause the TBell lies about the meat.
We're fat but we fly, you might be cause you read this
We're fat cause eat muffins and not the ones with raisins.
We're fat and we're vegan, no we don't believe that either.
Yes we know, yes we know, yes we know we're fat.
We hope that you enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it. We're back bitties and we are going to be here for a while!
Love A and K!
K: Me either, apparently it's not meat.
Please review the following article to view the particulars.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41242132/ns/business-consumer_news/?gt1=43001
K and I are writing a song, This is Why We're Fat, and now The TB gets a special shout out.
We have a confession to make, admitting your problems is the first step to over coming them right?
The other day we snuck fast food breakfast into my office at work to eat it, because we were to afraid of what people would think of us. We brought it up the stairs, hid in the mail room, snuck through the inventory room and into my office where we shut the door and made sure all the evidence was destroyed before we would open the door.
That is where we got our inspiration for our song.
We're fat cause we eat, we're fat cause we lazy.
We're fat cause we sneak food in through the break room.
We're fat and we know it, we're fat yes we show it.
Yes we know, yes we know, yes we know we're fat.
We fat, but we fly, you might be cause you read this
Or maybe your a skinny bitty and like the entertainment.
We're fat and forgetful, We had to run to Kohl's
So you could get some jeans, but not the ones with holes.
We're fat cause we lie, to ourselves all the time
We say that it's OK, if we eat another treat.
We're fat cause we go to the mall on a dime.
We're fat cause the TBell lies about the meat.
We're fat but we fly, you might be cause you read this
We're fat cause eat muffins and not the ones with raisins.
We're fat and we're vegan, no we don't believe that either.
Yes we know, yes we know, yes we know we're fat.
We hope that you enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it. We're back bitties and we are going to be here for a while!
Love A and K!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
what get know you chat on here right now from jeff
Our recent success has opened up a lot of new doors... some of which we wish would still be covered in cobwebs. K and I have ventured into the world of online dating... you know boost our confidence when we are so sore that we can't move... waddle like old women and cuss randomly through out the day. Well we sure did boost our confidence... there is nothing better than some greasy, mustached, 56 yr old man with 7 kids hitting on you. It really makes the day better. Or when you have this really hot guy chat your ear off for 2 months only to find out that he's MARRIED. That is also a great self esteem boost. (insert profanity here) We would like you all to notice the subject line, that was from a stud muffin online too. No editing done.
Funny moment of the day:
A to K: I have a NECK! An actual neck!
K to A: ...great...
Funny moment of the day:
A to K: I have a NECK! An actual neck!
K to A: ...great...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Hey Hot Shot, Where'd Ya Get Those Shoes?
Alright Kids, K and I are back and better than EVER!
Next week we begin a 30 Day Break-Over program and we are so excited. We know that it will be hard and in fact have been affectionately referring to it as Hell-Week 1, Hell-Week 2, etc. You get the idea. It has 6 exercises and each week you add something new.
I'll give you an example:
Walking Lunge
Week 1: Regular, with dumbbells Hold a weight in each hand, arms at your sides.
Week 2: Pulse 1 to 8 to 1Step forward with your right foot, holding the weights by your sides. Pulse up and down once while knees are bent. Bring your feet together and step forward with your left foot. Pulse twice. Work up to eight pulses in a row, then turn around and headed in the opposite direction, work your way back down to one.
It just keeps getting better and better...
OK, now that we have all of our new items of business finished we wanted to give you the scoop on our gym excursions the last week and a half.
The other day while getting our sweat on, K pointed out this guy. It was one of those moments when you walk through the door and if you are Angelina Jolie the wind blows your hair perfectly and you look gorgeous and amazing. However, if you are A and K it's more of a 'the wind blows out one of your contacts and you get dry eyes and tangles' instead. He was B-E-A-UTIFUL. Were talking Zeus beautiful, he is a Greek god we swear it. If it helps you visualize maybe think of him as Apollo the Sun God. Honestly this guy is a young, hot Brad Pitt (now you get my Angelina reference) only taller and hotter oh and blonde and tanned and muscular and we better stop now. So we gave him a name. He is called Motivation. Yup that is right Mounsuire Motivation. ( You have to say that last part with a terrible French accent, and then ask K to tell you her French jokes.) He is the reason K wears earrings to the gym. Are we blushing? Today A noticed that he was wearing highlighter yellow shoes and his shorter, less attractive kind of chubby friend was wearing bright orange shoes. We sort of wanted to ask him where he got them just so we could find out if he has a little girl voice, people can't actually have it all... can they?
So now that we are 'properly' motivated, we can only hope that he has a twin brother... or maybe a half brother that happens to be poly... we'll call him Poseidon and he'll be the reason A wears lip gloss to get her interval training on.
Next week we begin a 30 Day Break-Over program and we are so excited. We know that it will be hard and in fact have been affectionately referring to it as Hell-Week 1, Hell-Week 2, etc. You get the idea. It has 6 exercises and each week you add something new.
I'll give you an example:
Walking Lunge
Week 1: Regular, with dumbbells Hold a weight in each hand, arms at your sides.
Week 2: Pulse 1 to 8 to 1Step forward with your right foot, holding the weights by your sides. Pulse up and down once while knees are bent. Bring your feet together and step forward with your left foot. Pulse twice. Work up to eight pulses in a row, then turn around and headed in the opposite direction, work your way back down to one.
It just keeps getting better and better...
OK, now that we have all of our new items of business finished we wanted to give you the scoop on our gym excursions the last week and a half.
The other day while getting our sweat on, K pointed out this guy. It was one of those moments when you walk through the door and if you are Angelina Jolie the wind blows your hair perfectly and you look gorgeous and amazing. However, if you are A and K it's more of a 'the wind blows out one of your contacts and you get dry eyes and tangles' instead. He was B-E-A-UTIFUL. Were talking Zeus beautiful, he is a Greek god we swear it. If it helps you visualize maybe think of him as Apollo the Sun God. Honestly this guy is a young, hot Brad Pitt (now you get my Angelina reference) only taller and hotter oh and blonde and tanned and muscular and we better stop now. So we gave him a name. He is called Motivation. Yup that is right Mounsuire Motivation. ( You have to say that last part with a terrible French accent, and then ask K to tell you her French jokes.) He is the reason K wears earrings to the gym. Are we blushing? Today A noticed that he was wearing highlighter yellow shoes and his shorter, less attractive kind of chubby friend was wearing bright orange shoes. We sort of wanted to ask him where he got them just so we could find out if he has a little girl voice, people can't actually have it all... can they?
So now that we are 'properly' motivated, we can only hope that he has a twin brother... or maybe a half brother that happens to be poly... we'll call him Poseidon and he'll be the reason A wears lip gloss to get her interval training on.
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