Day 10... 10 Things We Learned in Turbo Kick

Lesson 1: If you wear dark pants to the gym, the people behind you in class can't see your butt sweat.

Lesson 2: Fat girls can't plank during the turbo portion of the workout.

Lesson 3: When fat girls don't plank they will be called out in the middle of class by the instructor.

Lesson 4: A will turn away from the calling out and make K deal with it.

Lesson 5: When in doubt K will use the thumbs up!

Lesson 6: If the instructor still thinks you are struggling she will come stand in front of you and make the butt sweat guy lead the class.

Lesson 7: The old man in the 3rd row can shake his hips better than you can.

Lesson 8: When K is getting the exercise ball down from the net... she will drop it on her head... A will laugh right along with the butt sweat guy and the old man from row 3.

Lesson 9: Sticky shoes are a must for the stretch portion of the class.

Lesson 10: Whilst in the dry sauna... make sure the light is off before you start exchanging glances about the stocky sweaty men laying on the benches.

Day 9... I Mean Really...

What is the deal with all of this snow? Last night it snowed so hard that A said she was not going to make it to the gym or maybe it was because it was 1 in the morning when she texted me, who knows. Well I was asleep by that time so I didn't get her text until I was on my way out the door. What I'm really trying to say is today I did my own thing. It was not as much fun let me tell you, while I was trying to crack jokes with the skinny runner next to me she kept looking at me like I was some crazy fat chick coming to eat her. Ok maybe it was not that bad. But she didn't think I was funny. A would have at least humored me and let us be honest A keeps things funny also. So tomorrow we are going to be going to a turbo kick class... I might want to mention it is at 6AM this means I will be phone stalking A at 5AM maybe even 4:45 just to be safe. We plan to kick the H out of the extra skinny bitties butt we carry around all day.

Love,

K

Day 8... The good, The bad, The water logged...

Today we finally had a hot shower. Yes our letter worked wonderfully. We were so happy. A wonderful work out. A wonderful shower and a wonderful chat on the way out. I even held the door for A. Then as we got ready to walk out into the warm sunshine we are hit with a blizzard. Horrible... then to top off our wonderful day we decided, for some strange reason that we would each chug 32oz of water. This is mostly because we both have been slacking on our O2 intake well, let me tell you what... that was a fine idea... until we kept seeing each other in El bano every 15 to 20 minutes... not such a good idea..

Regards,

K and A

Day 7...Frigid, Bitter Cold, Arctic Temperatures.

Dear Gym Showers,

K and I would like to discuss something with you. You see, you began so nicely, warm and wonderful, comforting even, to our impossibly sore muscles. Well now that you tricked us into making a pact to come every day rain or shine, sickness or health, till death do us part... you decide to go for the worst and sickness. After our commitment to you everyday. You leave us wanting more. We don't think it is too much to ask. We just need you to do your part. We don't ask you to go above and beyond, but letting the water heater malfunction?... We mean really. The thing is... we understand that the water heater is a bully and sometimes you let him get the best of you, well if you need back up K and I will be glad to help you whip that thing into shape. This is a classic story of good versus evil, right versus wrong. No one will blame you for standing up for yourself, your patrons need you to stand strong and win the fight. We desperately need you to grow a back bone. We have faith in you that tomorrow will be a better day. Please don't disappoint us.

Regards,

A and K

Day 6... Freezing Cold and the Ice Capades

A: 5:30AM: Wake up to 2 alarms going off at the same time. I'm so tired that my eyes are twitching.

5:40AM: 3rd alarm goes off... I'm still awake and laying in bed thinking about shaking my booty in a warm up.

5:50AM: 4th and final alarm goes off and I finally decide to get up and pack my gym bag.

6:05AM: I realize that I am shaking my booty instead of packing my gym bag... this is why K is always getting on my case for being late.

6:25AM: Head upstairs to make lunch.

6:35AM: Leave for the gym.

7:02AM: Do not die on my way into the gym like I thought I would. Enter my fiery purgatory.

7:35AM: Get much needed encouragement from K as I almost die trying to finish my tricep exercises.

7:50AM: Sit in the dry sauna.

7:56AM: Follow K out in complete confusion.

8:05AM: OMG THIS IS SO FREAKING COLD I CAN'T STAND IT!!! I DON'T CARE IF MY HAIR IS GREASY I CAN'T BREATHE... I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT... THIS IS NOT TOLERABLE. Oh finally my body temperature has lowered enough that the water starts to feel warm.

8:40AM: Whilst walking out of the gym I realize that I am about to walk through what appears to be water. I think... oh no, my feet will be cold OH MY GOSH I'M LOSING MY BALANCE K GRAB ME... I reach around for K and can only find her shirt. I'm carrying my purse, my gym bag and am wearing heals. The water was in fact black ice and it will now be my destruction. My life flashes before my eyes, people are staring, no one rushes to my aid... I'm going down. I can't catch myself, finally I end up doing a triple axel and landing very gracefully with all the flourish of Sasha Cohen.

8:45AM: Buy lots of fruit and veggies.

9:00AM: Off to work.

K: 5:52 AM wake up before the alarm goes off because I cannot breathe right.

5:54 AM cough up a lung

5:59AM I'm finally able to breathe.

6:00 AM turn off alarm and get ready to leave.

6:30 Leave for the gym.

7:00 Text Amanda to see if she is there yet... she is a slacker and is still 2 stop lights away.

7:05 AM enter Hell.

7:40AM Think... I am going to die... Here at the this gym, with the crazy man in too much eyeliner and the black lipstick. Here at this gym with the splasher and the army crawl guy... here at this gym where the steam room smells like someone had and accident... I will meet my demise. OH THANK GOODNESS! I'm finished with my arm exercises.

7:50 go sit in the dry sauna.

7:55 AM see someone I know and sneak out, because on today of all days after a weekend of being sick, I look like a WWIII survivor and would prefer not to been seen.

8:00 AM Take the coldest shower of my life. There was definitely shrieking and possibly real tears involved.

8:40 AM watch Amanda almost die on a piece of ice. She fell very gracefully but almost ripped my shirt off in the process. Laughed for the next 30mins about how funny it was.

8:45 AM go to the market to get some fruits and veggies

9:00 AM Work work work

Day 3: Note to Self, Drink Water

A: 5:35 AM... K lets me know she is out sick today.

6:10 AM... Get out of bed, even though I have been awake and alert to the world since my first 2 alarms went off this morning. ( at this information you should all ooh and aww as that it is a HUGH step for me.)

7:11 AM... Cardiovascular activity.

8:45 AM... (This is where the title comes in) Sit down at my desk for work and am smacked in the face by a headache that will make the very fires of hell tremble. I can't even see straight. I Realize that in the last few days my water intake has not been what is should be. After drinking a bottle of water my headache starts to subside.

9:00 AM... Realize today is the first day of the rest of my life and what I am doing now really is going to make a difference. I CAN DO THIS!! WE can do this!

Day 2... I didn't know I had those muscles

A: 6:50 AM... RA MA RA MA MA... Shut up GaGa!! I already can't walk. What do you want from me?

7:45 AM... Finally build up the courage to walk up the stairs... eff ... I forgot my phone...

7:49 AM... realize that walking backwards down the stairs hurts much much less than walking down forward.

8:55 AM... Getting out of the car hurts a lot worse than falling into it.

12:40PM... Pain... that's all I have to say.

Tonight me and the treadmill are going to have a nice long 25 minute chat.

K: 9:00 PM 2/17/2010... texted A and let her know I could not move so I would not be going to the gym.

9:05PM... A said that I better be there

11:00 PM... A texted back and said she could not move and would not be going and may even call in to work.

7:00 AM... Cried as I rolled off my bed because I could not move my body in the right way to get up the right way.

7:10 AM.... got up off the floor. More tears

8:00 AM... Waddled out to my car and cried as I sat down in my car

9:00 AM... Waddled into work.

Rest of the day sat on a heating pad to try and help my muscles not hate me so much

AS will be joining us in Hell tomorrow and the real challenge begins. She will be training for a triathlon while K and I are just trying to save our own lives.

Day 1... "PAIN, LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN"

A: 5:30 AM... Two alarms go off at once. One blaring JaiHo and the other blaring Poker Face. Both alarms are dismissed.

5:40 AM... the 3rd alarm of the morning goes off blaring Kiss and Tell, again it is dismissed.

5:50 AM... the alarm once again blaring "RA MA RA MA MA, RA MA RA MA MA" finally gets me out of bed. There is nothing like Lady GaGa in the morning to welcome me to Hell.

6:01 AM... K texts me to make sure that I am out of bed, at this point if I'm not up she will be calling me until I get up.

6:10 AM... Shake my fanny in a warm up to my DDR Remixed Mix.

6:28 AM... Leave for the Gym a few minutes late and try and convince K that there was traffic and make no mention of my DDR warm up.

7:05 AM... K tries to kill me.

7:40 AM... PAIN. Excruciating pain and still having to get through my shower routine so I don't look like a scum bag at work.

K: 6:00 AM... Alarm goes off.

6:01 AM... Text A and tell her to get up.

6:01-6:15 AM... Dress for gym and pack bag.

6:15 AM... Lock up house and Pray my car starts

6:20 AM... Thank God(no really, I prayed in gratitude) my car started

6:21 AM... Jam out to DDR Mix A made... make no mention to A whatsoever...

6:40 AM... Text A to see if she has her butt in gear yet...

6:45 AM... Meet A and enter HELL

7:00 AM... Start to kill A.

7:05 AM... Tell A, I am serious we ARE doing that many lunges.

7:15 AM... Tell A... yes I'm serious if your feet touch the ground you will start over.

7:40 AM... Revive A and tell her to stop crying and looking like a scum bag so we can go to work.

K & A:

7:40 to 8:05 AM... Cry in the locker room of hell because we can't move.

8:45 AM... head to the market to get fruit, healthy and hellish when eaten alone...

8:55 AM... go to work... try not to walk like ducks the rest of the day.

Moral of the story... PAIN, LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN.

K: "This is the purgatory we must put ourselves in because we have lived gluttonous lives for the past 10 something years."

A: "Good thing we are friends... I hate you right now."